Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fakery

I've never read the book. What did Dorian Grey do that was so immoral and sinful?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Portugal beat Spain on penalties to win Nations League - Yahoo Sports

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Where the Stock Market Stands Now After a Wild Start to the Year - Bloomberg.com

I can count

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why do men think all women are the same?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

UK has fingers in its ears over Trump’s defense threat - politico.eu

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I can read

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Vancouver Whitecaps lose Concacaf Champions Cup final to Cruz Azul - MLSsoccer.com

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why is my stomach getting so big from taking testosterone cypionate 31 to 34 in 2 months?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know who the president of Turkey really is

FAMU AD accused of stealing $24K from old job - ESPN

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Measles confirmed in Colorado Springs, public asked to watch for symptoms - KKTV

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”